They're gonna put me in the movies

Jake Leenerts and I shot our very first collaborative effort yesterday, a little film called Everything I Needed to Know I Learned From Watching Kill Bill. We co-wrote, I starred, he directed and lensed, and he's editing it as I type this. If we can get the filesize down to a manageable level I hope to have this film up on the site as soon as it's done. Regardless, words of praise go to Jake for his flawless direction.

I need to make more of these. I got to hack up an oleander bush with a katana. How many people get to spend a Saturday pruning hedges with a lethal implement of samurai slaughter and film themselves doing it?

Life is good.

Lame excuse of the decade

"We reluctantly made the decision to save this sequence for the DVD." - Peter Jackson.

Teacher: "Billy, I asked you to write a 10-page report on President Nixon, but there's only 7 pages here. And it skips over Watergate. How do you explain this?"

Billy: "I'm saving those three pages for the Extended Edition report."

"My God! It's full of snot!"

Remember that river of vile slime running under Manhattan in Ghostbusters II? I've got a similar scene playing out in my nose right now. I came home for lunch and I have no intention of going back anytime soon. This is what I get for passing the pipe during flu & cold season...

Number nine. Number nine.

Thougts and feelings on Matrix Revolutions, with various and sundry spoilers:

First half: Ho hum. Weren't the squiddies 20 hours away like, 10 hours ago? I'd have to go back to the Reloaded DVD, but weren't they 6 hours away at the end? Anyway, lotsa yakking, although thankfully a little more cogent than Reloaded's yakking. Great BDSM club scene though.

Second half: Oh my Christ. GIANT FREAKIN' ROBOT BATTLES! If the rest of this movie had been gay cowboys eating pudding, the GIANT FREAKIN' ROBOT BATTLES would have made it all worthwhile.

SuperSmith vs. Flying Neo in the rainstorm was very nicely done. Saw some shots that looked videogame fake, but less so than Reloaded's burly brawl. As cool as it was though, it was basically a big slugfest. Not even a very kung fu-ish one at that. I was really looking forward to seeing what two gods could do to each other in a reality as malleable as the Matrix. Compare it to the final battle in Dark City, with Murdoch and Mr. Book basically throwing buildings at each other, stopping each others missiles in mid-air, and redirecting them at each other. Still, as slugfests go, Revolutions was suitably epic.

The Ending: Having a hard time on this. It was good, but it wasn't what I wanted. It left me feeling a little cold. The best thing I can say about it is I can't think of a better way to end it, but that's the Wachowski brothers' jobs, not mine.

Don't let my negativity fool you, I genuinely liked this movie. I think it's a testament to what the Wachowskis created that everyone is so contentious about it; everyone feels that it's their own film. It's similar to the criticisms leveled at the Star Wars reissues and prequels: "Lucas is fucking with MY MOVIES!" I'd say any comparison to a pop culture phenomenon like Star Wars (to which the Matrix Trilogy more than holds its own) has to be considered a positive.

Will this be looked at the way Star Wars is 30 years from now? Hard to say. After all, the Matrix generation still has Star Wars front and center in their experiences, but people in 1977 had bupkis. That's why SW is so huge in peoples' minds. Is it as good as Star Wars? Except for a much less satisfying ending than Jedi's, I'd say yes. And that's as high praise as you'll ever get out of me.

Plus, it had GIANT FREAKIN' ROBOT BATTLES!

Revolutions: **1/2 stars our of four. The whole 7-some-odd hour Matrix Trilogy: ****.

Must-steal song of the day

It's a cover of the Animals' "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" by 70's disco footnote Santa Esmeralda, as featured in the Kill Bill soundtrack. To those who've seen the film (ye kool kats) it's the song that plays while the Bride and O-Ren Ishii fight at the end. Ten-and-a-half minutes of flamenco-disco-funk. It's the ginchiest.

What day did God create online communities?

Apparently I did it on a Thursday. Anyway, check the new link on the sidebar to your right to see Max's Boards, our new messageboards. I'm Tarrasque Wrangler over there, just like at EN World. Uh, yeah. Go post something funny Dave.