Summer Movie Preview Thingy

You may run into me in line at some of the following this summer:

Troy Hey, I'm a sucker for Greeks. My girlfriend's Greek (sorta). Democracy is Greek. Hot boy love is Greek. It's all good. Brad Pitt's good at asskicking roles and Achilles is like the First Asskicker. And it's got both Brian Cox and Peter O'Toole. I never miss a film that features both Cox and O'Toole. Yeah, I'm just gonna stop that now.

Shrek 2 The first one aged well. I'm down.

The Day After Tomorrow No one flattens New York like Roland Emmerich (ID4, Godzilla). Seriously, the guy's boffo for it. If he destroys New York seven more times he gets a free T-Shirt.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban My favorite of the books so far, and who doesn't love Gary Oldman? Plus it's got Emma Thompson. And all the kids are all pimply and gawky-looking now.

Spiderman 2 But of course. I'm all about Doc Ock. His arms better be adamantium though. I will throw a little kid hissy fit if they aren't. Seriously, don't fuck with my comic book adapatations you Punisher-raping bastards.

Before Sunset The first one, Before Sunrise, is the geek date movie rental of choice. Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke walking around Vienna for hours. It was My Dinner With Andre if Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory got up and walked around instead of sitting there, stuffing their faces like the lazy bastards they are.

Seriously though, that was all IMDB'd. I've never seen My Dinner With Andre in my life. For all I know, they whip out .45's at the end and it turns into the teahouse scene from Hard Boiled. Before Sunrise was purty to look at though, and Julie Delpy, fuggedaboutit.

Anchorman Starring Will Ferrell, who's funnier than everyone left on SNL now put together.

The Bourne Supremacy I'm going to go ahead and get pre-emptively defensive about this: Hey, fuck you, I liked Bourne Identity.

Hero Holy crap in a bucket full of crap that is, itself, made out of solidified crap. This movie looks sooooo sweet I got diabetes just watching the trailer. It's got Jet Li and Tony Leung and Zhang Ziyi and flying people and swords and the implied promise of people being hacked with those swords.

Final version of the Kill Bill parody - I mean it this time

After getting complaints about the quicktime video not playing, I've taken it down in favor of a Windows Media version. Yes, Windows sucks, fight the power, etc., but this one is significantly smaller in size (16 megs instead of 28, still trying to get Sorenson) and has the advantage of actually working right. I think I've changed all the links to point at the new file, but if someone catches a bad one let me know.

Takeshi's Castle

Which Takeshi's Castle Character are you?


You know, I always had a feeling I was Japanese entertainer Beat Takeshi, star of Takeshi's Castle (you call it: MXC). Thanks to the Internet I need never doubt this undeniable fact again.