I'm against bear-fucking and I vote

I was watching a commercial for LaBatt's Blue beer tonight that really spun me. In it, a talking bear is playing softball with his buddies, who deride what they perceive should be his poor softball skills, as he is Canadian and lacks thumbs. He knocks one deep into center and breaks someone's window. As a "peace offering" he takes a six-pack of LaBatt's with him so as to ease the tension.

So right off the bat (pardon the pun) we see a number of things wrong in this situation.

1. Bears play soccer.
2. When they do play softball, they tend to pull to left field when they connect.
3. No one drinks LaBatt's.

So he arrives at the newly-defaced home, and who should answer the door but a Hot Chick. This Hot Chick is not alarmed by the presence of a talking bear, one who may or may not already be liquored up on cheap beer. As a matter of fact, she invites him in, and introduces him to her roommate Hot Chick #2. Both Hot Chicks give him a randy look and the door is shut. It was at this point that I realized that these two HUMAN women were going to fuck that bear.

You know, I was just starting to get over that Sunsetter awning commercial, and now this. The moral majority in this country have got their collective hissies in a fit over profanity on the radio and violence on TV, and here's a Canadian company proudly promoting bestiality on our airwaves! Where is the righteous anger? Where are the crudely-acronymed parents rights groups like People Against Bear Sex on Television (PABST, a blue-ribbon panel)? Where is Jerry Falwell?

I'm writing letters expressing my grave concern to the ASPCA, both of my senators, the Commerce Dept., Tom Ridge, and the Prime Minister of Canada. Then I'm taking my meds and going to sleep.