Finally, a candidate I can get behind!

Okay, so there's been a lot of disappointing candidates for this recall crap the last week or two. Bill Simon I can see; I guess he just couldn't get enough of the ream-job he got from Davis nine months ago, and wants a second helping. But Dick Riordan? He couldn't even beat Simon. Who the hell's he kidding.

As for wacky fringe candidates, none have been too inspiring. Doesn't sound like Schwarzenegger's going to run, ho hum. I guess he'd rather make shitloads of money. What a kook. You got Peter Camejo for the Greens, so if nothing else the Phish-head vote is locked up. But where are the Jello Biafras, the Lyndon Larouches, the Jerry Browns?

I'd about given up on this whole political-process-as-theater-of-the-absurd until today, when I learned that none other than Larry effin' Flynt is running. Hooray! Finally, someone with whom we know where we stand. What's he for? Boobies! And who isn't?

It's not as wacky as you'd think. Consider: We'll never have a Clinton-esque sex scandal. There won't be any surprises when we find out where his money's come from - it came from boobies! He's a self-made millionaire in the classic Republican mold, and his views are liberal enough for even the Berkeley trolls. There's no doubt that he'll stick up for our rights; the man took a bullet for the 1st Amendment! All that, and he offers cash rewards for people who help him expose Republican shenanigans. He got Bob Livingstone to step down from the Senate Majority Leader post when he exposed the senator's extra-marital affair. This guy's my hero.

So I'm urging everyone I can to Vote for Flynt!. Hell, I'll write him in for President next year.

And remember: Boobies!