Special Report - Pregnant Women: What's the deal with 'em?

I don't know whether it's the aura of raw sexual power I exude or pure coincedence, but while I've been at my current job assignment (approx. 10 months) two women in my department have gotten pregnant (that I know about, heh heh). There's only about a dozen women in my office, half of whom are past child-bearing age, so it seems like something of a statistical anomaly. One gave birth about 2 months ago, and the other is starting to show big-time.

Which leads me to my point, namely, pregnant women scare the crap out of me. I don't know who these nutjobs are who say that pregnant women glow or that nothing is so beautiful as a woman with child, but they've obviously never worked with one. They turn into raging hormonal freight-trains. This woman pees about once every ten minutes. She doesn't look like she's enjoying herself too much. They need to take all these 13 year old girls from Jerry Springer panels who want to have a baby to keep them company through those lonely high school years and pair them up with an actual pregnant woman. I guarantee they'll want their tubes tied in a matter of hours.

I have nothing against children, I kinda like other peoples' kids. I don't have any of my own nor do I plan to have any, although I do enjoy the conception how-to videos and magazines. But why does the process of actually bearing one have to be so, well, disgusting? I mean, we've got scientists with test tubes and vacuum hoses, can't they do something about this already? The day that we can travel to the doctor in our flying car after eating our lunch pill so we can look at our growing vat-baby is going to be a great day in America.