The Lighter Side of Abortion

Every now and then something or someone comes along with a sense of humor that alters your point of view forever. Something that can take a subject that you never considered humorous and make you wonder why you ever laughed at anything else before it. I had one of those moments today, and I'd like to share it with all of you.

I process business checks at the bank I work for. I see so many hundreds in a day that most people's personalized checks barely register in my mind. But today I saw a check that made me laugh AND think. The check series is called "Pro-Life Zingers" and they are produced by an outfit called Lifechecks. These "Zingers" are one-panel cartoons that tickle the funny bone while explaining God's merciless anger with abortionists.

I'll describe my favorite cartoon for you. A man is looking up into the sky (where God lives) and says "God, why haven't you sent us people with cures for AIDS, cancer, world hunger and social problems?" A voice balloon emanating from Heaven replies "I did, but you ABORTED THEM!" Funny and true! (Although, I would have followed it up with a zinger from the man: "Yeah, but we aborted some future Hitlers too, right?")

If there's one thing the anti-abortion movement is missing, it's a sense of humor (You thought I was gonna say compassion, understanding or logic, didn't you? ZING!). I applaud Lifechecks for showing us that the religious right can enjoy a good chuckle over reproductive rights the same way we on the left do. So I submit the following pro-life zingers for them to use as they see fit (note: I won't include cartoons with them, as caricatures are a mockery of God's perfect creation).

• (An ob/gyn holds up a sign that says "Partial Birth Abortion Ban" in front of a pregnant woman bleeding profusely from her birth canal) Woman: "I'm gonna have this baby today if it kills me!"
• (A pregnant woman is talking to her friend) Pregnant woman: "God assured me that my baby being born acephalic is all part of His divine plan." Friend: "How awful though. Your baby will be born with no brain!" Pregnant woman: "Oh, I'm not worried. We're Mormons!"
• (A man with an anti-abortion picket sign is admonishing a pregnant woman outside an abortion clinic) Perfectly Reasonable Man: Don't be so selfish, lady. It's called a uterUS, not a uterYOU!"