Cultural Sensitivity

I had a realization this week that, as a newly-minted Jewish banker, I'm embodying one of the oldest and ugliest cultural stereotypes in the world. I couldn't get any closer to a KKK caricature if I were a rooftop fiddler. But what am I to do? Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, and Jews have to secretly contol the world via a massive Zionist banking conspiracy.

I think there should be a union for people in culturally stereotypical careers. We'll call it the "Racist Joke Punchline Workers Union". Mexican gardeners. Chinese dry cleaners. Italian waste-disposal experts. Russian gangsters. Black pimps. South American druglords. Japanese ninjas. Finally, a banner we can all stand proud under. Look for the union label whenever you need hedges trimmed, a suit pressed, a high-interest loan, your balls cut off, a ho, several kilos of fine Colombian blow, or the stealthy elimination of a rival warlord.