Vacation: Day One

Got up around 9:30 a.m. and sat around in front of the computer for a couple hours in my boxers, reading email and message boards. By about 11 I'd run out of internet to surf so I went back to bed for another 2.5 hours. Those were damn good hours. Vacation isn't about travelling to exotic locales or getting important chores done around the house, it's about saying "fuck it" and going back to bed in the middle of the day.

Got up in time to see Rachel off to work and took a nice long shower. When you only have a 10 minute shower window on a workday morning you forget how great it feels. I got all dressed up for some reason and parked my kiester on the easy chair.

Scanned the channels and found some John Grisham "Brash Young Southern Lawyer" movie on Starz that'd just started. This one had Matt Damon and Danny Devito in it so I figured what the hell. I watched for a while and, ta-da, there's Claire Danes. I've always had this inexplicable crush on Claire Danes. When I say "inexplicable", it's not to say she's ugly - not really my type, but hardly ugly. I never realized until today that my crush is all about her neck. She has a beautiful neck and throat. It's long (but not freakishly so) and nicely sculpted. From her shoulders to her jaw she's like Venus.

I don't think that makes me a fetishist, do you? I've honestly never noticed anyone's neck before, let alone been attracted to one. I think hers is just really special. Necks are completely utilitarian to me in every other aspect. Not that I'm against necks. Hell, if there's a measure on my ballot on Tuesday allocating a bond issue towards neck research I'll vote for it. In summary, I'm generally in favor of necks.

Ate some taquitos while I watched that. Beef taquitos and Cholula hot sauce are the key to my spiritual well-being.

Listened to some Bill Hicks after that. Bill Hicks is my fucking avatar. He was so funny and sociopathic. My greatest hope is that I can find an audience of people completely unaware of his existence and continue ripping him off long into my retirement. To make amends I'll give a chunk of change to the Bill Hicks "I Never Gave a Fuck for Homo Sapiens, But I Loved My Goddamned Ferret" animal charity.

Then I went on Straight Dope and read about the miracle of shark cartillage therapy. Apparently there's still some small-brains in the world who think sharks are immortal.

So final score for the day: 0 hours spent outside the house. 1 hour spent on this blog post. 3 hours reading D&D books. 15 minutes spent wrapping a birthday present. 30 minutes spent composing witty post on Enworld about Luke's swamped X-Wing in Empire Strikes Back. I'm calling it a day.