Sucka MC's

I decided to while away the hours at work today by listening to the most appropriate banking music I could think of: Gangsta Rap (who talks about cash more than those guys?). The classic track "Cusswords" by Oaktown player Too Short came over the headphones (featuring the Shakespearean couplet "Cusswords, just let 'em roll/Motherfucking shit, goddamn asshole") and I couldn't help but be profoundly moved by his hatred for sucka MC's. I know exactly how Todd feels. People are constantly calling me weak, even after I've pointed out that their daddy snorts coke and their mother's a freak. So surely the Sucka MC phenomenen can't be solely limited to the hip-hop game. I've decided to call on the proverbial carpet the following Sucka MC's:

Tucker Carlson can suck a big fat diiiick. Tucker Carlson, bow-tied douchebag co-host of CNN's Crossfire, is perhaps the only person on the planet who can make that asshat Robert Novak look classy. Pretty much any pundit you care to name is going to be a wack bitch by definition, but there are no pundit bitches wacker than Carlson. And he's always all up in James Carville's business. Let a player play, you jiveass turkey.

The WB network programmers can suck a big fat diiiick. You bitches cancelled Angel. If any of you suckas show your faces in my 'hood I will go fourth-season-Wesley on your asses.

Michael Eisner can suck a big fat diiiick. You player-hatin', documentary-rejecting, Jeb Bush-blowing motherfucker. Keep your limpdick mouse-ear-wearing ass out of my entertainment, bitch.

Mountain bikers who take up the whole lane on a swervy two lane road can suck a big fat diiiick. I am not going to prison because you made me run over your stupid sorry ass. I am not asking you spandex-wearing bitches to dive off a cliff when I roll up in my Saturn, but if I gotta choose between ending your candyass and totalling my ride, guess which one of us is going down? Check yoself before I wreck yoself.

People who say "roll-playing" can suck a big fat diiiick. Keep your gay-ass LARPing opinion to yourself. I will personally cap the next motherfucker who wants to talk about the G/S/M theory. Don't push your weakass diceless shit on me.