The Lord of the Underpants: Extra-Stretched Edition

As inspired by this discussion on Fark.com, may I present the Fellowship of the Underpants!

Aragorn: You have my sword...
Legolas: ...and you have my bow...
Gimli: ...and my underpants.
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Galadriel: Even the smallest underpants can change the course of the future.
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Gandalf: It reads: The underpants of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak friend and enter.
Merry: What d'you suppose that means?
Gandalf: Oh, it's quite simple. If you are a friend, you speak the password, and the underpants will open.
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Gandalf: Underpants? It was underpants that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill before this is over. The underpants of Bilbo may rule the fate of many.
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Gandalf: There is only one Lord of the Ring, only one who can bend it to his will. And he does not share underpants.
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Boromir: And what would a Ranger know of this matter?
Legolas: This is no mere ranger! He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your underpants.
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Butterbur: Gandalf...Gandalf...Oh yea I remember elderly chap, big gray underpants, pointed hat. Not seen him for six months.
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Gimli: I will be dead before I see the Ring in the underpants of an elf!
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Gandalf: All we have to decide is what to do with the underpants that is given to us.