By way of introduction...

Here's a get-to-know-me email questionnaire devised by my friend Hizuru. This should answer all of your pertinent questions.

1. FAVORITE MYTH?
Alligators in the sewers.

2. WHAT BOOK DO YOU THINK EVERYONE SHOULD READ? AND WHY?
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, so you’ll know what to do when you’re at a police convention, on drugs.

3. FAVORITE MIXED DRINK NAME?
Screaming Nazi

4. IF YOU HAD TO CREATE A BRAND NEW GREETING CARD, WHAT WOULD IT SAY?
"So Sorry About Your Prolapse."

5. WHAT 12-STEP GROUP THERAPY PROGRAM DO YOU THINK IS MISSING FROM
SOCIETY TODAY?
Adnan-Anon, people who are addicted to 80’s billionaire arms-dealer Adnan Kashogi.

6. BAD HABIT?
Doubling down.

7. PET PEEVE?
Mexican banditos.

8. THE NAME YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO NAME A KID?
Boy: Loudon
Girl: Anna Nicole

9. IDEAL WAY TO MAKE A FOOL OR YOURSELF?
Getting drunk at their intervention.

10. WHAT NOT TO SAY THE FIRST TIME YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE?
"Phew. Beer hasn't worn off yet."

11. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE HISTORICAL DICTATOR AND WHY?
Mussolini, because the man had style.